Attitude towards women – need for a
change in mindset- Col RD Singh.
26 December 2012
Pictures and Videos: Amar Singh
Jyani, GS Mann.
The ongoing protests
against the gruesome gang rape case in Delhi, reminds me of my childhood
memories in a village in Haryana in 1960s, of how women used to lead a second
fiddle life. A bride,
normally at 15 or 16 years, the
moment she came to her husband’s house, she was launched into full fledged
household duties. Rising at 5 am, milking the buffalos/cows, sweeping the
house, and then preparing food for the entire family. That would be about 10
am, without she getting a breather, under a veil, and becoming a ‘statue’ when elders passed by. Food prepared, she had
to ferry it to the fields, where her husband and other family members were working. Food served, she
would have to come back with a heavy load of fodder for the cattle on her head.
After returning home, there was no respite, as she had to wash dirty clothes,
and utensils, of the entire family.
Thereafter, she had to grind wheat in a ‘chakki’ to make flour, and grind the
'masalas' for dinner. Now it is evening,
and time to feed the cattle as also milk them. All done by this poor girl, whose feelings and emotions were
all hidden behind the thick red ‘odhani’.
It is sun set and time to cook dinner for the men folk who would be soon
back from the fields, and demanding. The young bride had to make sure that
every one has had his/her food, before she could think of taking a bite
herself. Oh, no! she can not yet go to her husband. She has to ‘press’ the feet
of her mother in law for atleast half an hour. She is excused to depart for her
bed, only if the ‘saas’ is satisfied and ready to snooze. Finally the poor
young lady goes to the room or on the roof where her husband is waiting. His primary interest is only to have sex and not listen
to his wife’s feelings. That is if he is not drunk. Else, he could also be
violent.
The next morning the same
grind starts again. The problem of the young woman will multiply as she soon
becomes pregnant and begets child after child. You can imagine her condition
when she has to do all the above household chores, as also look after three to four children, at
the same time. No recreation, no personal space, no voice. Such was the
condition of a woman at that time. Things have improved over the years due to
modern facilities, but she still plays the second fiddle at home. Man still
rules the roost as evident from the khap panchayats. Molestation and rape cases
do take place in villages but only few are reported. Most are hushed up in the
name of family honour. The victim is married to the first groom available,
without bothering about her wishes.
The gruesome gang rape of the 23 year old
girl, in a running bus, on 16 December in South Delhi, has for the first time,
shook the conscience of the nation towards the way we treat women, in general.
The nation wide protests have shaken the govt and the authorities out of
complescence. Enough of talks and
promises, now is the high time for action. And action should result into three
things – life sentence for the ‘beasts’;
fast track courts to try out rape cases;
and three, the society to realise its own responsibility. It is sad but true that 95 percent of rape
cases take place within houses ( most not reported) and by the known persons.
When the 23 year old was lying unconscious and naked, after being flung out of
the bus, none of the many gathered onlookers even bothered to cover her, leave
alone taking her to a hospital. This is not in tune with the national rage that
we are showing today. Lets be sensitive
in our actions towards the victims, next door, or on the streets, in our day to
day life. It is a collective action by the govt, the authorities, the police,
and the people. By nature, we got to be respectful to women, and not treat them
as a weaker sex. The mindset has to change and women have to be made secure.
So, lets join hands to remove the gender bias and treat women with dignity and
equality.
Colonel R D
Singh, a star blood donor, and a decorated soldier,
belongs to Village Pilimandori (now in Distt. Fatehabad). He is also a life
member of INTACH, and his entire family believes in giving back to the
society. Wife is a senior teacher in the Army Public School, daughter
(LLM topper from the DU Law Faculty) is a member of the Delhi Bar Association,
recently married to an IIT, IIM fine young man. son, is a young Lieutenant in
Army (third generation). Col. Ripu Daman Singh writes regularly for news
papers, and The Sirsa News.
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