Excellence of Family Life
- Dr TN Chugh
SIRSA NEWS
21
January, 2017
Pictures and Videos: GS
Mann
Excellence of
Family Life
Family is a primary group
of members in a society, living collectively, in a residence (home). A nuclear
family consists of parents and their offspring sharing a dwelling, food and
several common resources concerned for each other. While the genetic
inheritance and blood bonds serve as great anchors, economic and safety factors
keep the members together. However, emotional bond is the strongest which binds
them as a close-knit unit forever, even when living apart. Joint or extended
family is a social unit of many members, including nuclear family along with blood
relatives or kin of three or more generations. This enlarged version of family
comprises grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and niece, for which
all the members work typically and live together to share their household
duties. Families are legally bound through duties, rights and obligations. To
be mutually beneficial, all the members of family must participate with
righteous aims of improving communications amongst them to foster close
relations, rising above narrow individual gains. Good family is due to splendid
interaction amongst its members to enjoy each other’s company and spend a lot
of time performing amiable functions. A true ‘FAMILY’ is when ‘Father And
Mother Intimacy (Interest) Lives for Years.’
Properties of Family:
Ordinarily, the family starts with the
marriage of a man and a woman. The changes occur in family life through time,
tasks, income, successive stages, religious concepts, health, education,
political status and many more factors. The properties in a family differ due
to castes, religions, country, financial status, education, health, age group,
the presence or absence of children, number of children and many more factors.
During matrimonial ceremony, the spouses generally wear specific attires and
perform particular rituals devoted to their religion and social norms. But
every family should try to follow basic humanitarian norms which bind all
members in a single fabric.
Seven ‘Vows’ with seven
steps between bride and bridegroom:
The bride and bridegroom
generally take certain pledges to make their married life strong and committed.
The guidelines given through Hinduism are mentioned here:
1. We shall give our love, friendship and regards to each other
due to mutual emotions.
2. We shall share health and wealth.
3. We shall live together under all situations of happiness and
sorrows.
4. We shall remain faithful and committed to each other.
5. We shall draw strength from each other to protect and promote
ideal principles of family with children.
6. We shall embark together as associates on our spiritual
journey. We shall promote our moral and spiritual strength for delightful
family life.
7. We shall work together in carrying out our duties to the
society.
As all formal marriages
involve one or the other type of mutual commitment, it is therefore necessary
for both the life partners to follow certain code of conduct which helps to
sustain the bond between them forever.
Mutual Duties of Husband
and Wife:
Respecting the personal
space of every individual is the basic requirement for nurturing healthy and
sustainable inter-personal bond. Mutual respect and acceptance should be
maintained even during each other’s shortcomings. Confer regards, love and
pleasure to each other. It is solemn duty to live in quietness and peace. Avoid
occasion of violent anger and discard. Descend to harsh words, aloofness and
any form of abuse. Mortify pride and strong self centered feelings. They must
pray for a humble, meek and quiet spirit because they are not angel for one
another but blissful life partners. Control your words, do not speak hurtful
and taunting words; rather be calm and rational. Ask for forgiveness to each
other if you act sinfully and confess your faults. Join prayers to God for
pardon. Be careful, skillful and diligent to help each other in knowledge and
worship. Determine to live together as inherits of Divine Creator and be helper
to one another’s soul. They should co-ordinate in worldly business and estates.
Assist each other in charity. Help and comfort one another in safe, disease
free happy life and death. Never think to go apart through divorce. Take full
care nature, nurture, nourishment, education and progress of your generation.
Pay full regards and reverence to the parents of extended families.
Little adjustment is
better than tortuous argument, meaningful reliance is better than meaningless
words. Perform collective celebrations of religious festivals so as to
strengthen the family relations.
Righteous Qualities to have Virtuous
Family Life:
Respect for all, duty
conscious, truthful and pleasing behavior, rightful high destination, regards
for elders, develop faith in spiritual guide and God, pay respect to all
religions (sovereignty), help the poor and needy; adopt tolerance, justice,
honesty, righteous thinking, self confidence, humility, contentment and
tenderness; earn through self toil, rely on intelligence and skill, sweet
conversation, amiable behavior, spend less than earnings, pray for universal
peace. Cultivate common interest, try to set regular time to talk, be
accountable to one other, read a religious book together to develop moral
equality and refresh daily with God’s word.
Avoid Negative
Attitude--Escape from superstitions, ostentations, pretentions, criticism,
hatred, cheating, gambling, bribery, vanity, back biting, leg pulling, drinking
wine, all types of intoxicants and non-vegetarian diet.
Supreme Parenting:
It involves the healthy
responsibility of parents for supporting and promoting the physical, social,
financial, intellectual and emotional development of child or children from
infancy to adulthood. Parents with good skill are rightly considered as best
parents. Mother is the first to adopt healthy child development including the
span of pregnancy, prenatal development, infant stage, toddler, adolescent and
adulthood. Authoritative parenting style should take more interest in child’s
educational, cultural development, readying child for challenges, appropriate
age development activities and tasks for skill development. The children have to learn self regulation
and co-operation; and later on communal culture and truthful communication.
Parent-child relationship has to be delightful and affectionate, desirable
behavior, praise, encouragement and benevolent communication. The children
ought to pay full regards to parents throughout their life. In India, Mothers
day is celebrated on second Sunday of May and Fathers day on third Sunday of
June.
Common Problems and
Causes of Stress in Family Life:
Lack of discipline;
faults in communication; lack of respect amongst family members; frequent and
general arguments; exhibition of anger, harsh conversation and even violence
under certain situations; avoidance and hatred; conflicts among spouses or
parents or relatives; conditions of illness, disability or accidents; intake of
smoking and intoxicants; financial problems due to failure in business, damage
of property, loss of job etc.; involvement in superstition, ostentation,
speculation; condemnation and abusing; confer un-necessary allegation or
blames; one member of couple may think of separation; Infidelity or lack of
loyalty; absence of issue or having
issue without choice; supporting the parents of husband or wife; loosing contacts
with children; share family secrets with neighbors or others.
Suggested Solutions to Family
Problems:
Always try to avoid
miss-concepts stated above; make your objectives on reconciliation; develop
winning spirit for complete family; introspect the causes of conflicts to
resolve what the issues are, but do not involve anyone for discussion, prevent
it from happening in future; consider the every member in the family has a
Divine spirit; respect the old when you are young, help the weak when you are
strong, confess the fault when you are wrong, one day in life you will be old,
weak and wrong; remember that your family members are human beings, therefore,
do not behold their faults against them; family issues should not be
devastating; keep the family as organized unit, staying as a close knit; try to
maintain a proficient balance between work and family time. The prominence of a
good family depends on proper organization and not simple perception, not
information but arrangement, not in laws but intelligence and mental grasp, not
confusion but discipline and management, not insistence but respect, not
exploitation but encouragement, not simple contact but true relations, not
offering but dedication. The family members should attend the festivals and
celebrations as a complete unit. They can also manage certain ceremonies at
their home. Best wishes for successful family life.
Family as a great Unity:
The best part of life is
not just surviving, but thriving with passion, style, compassion, generosity,
humor and finally with kindness. The love and admiration amongst family members
is much more important than health and privilege.
Golden time of our life may not return back
forever, but the good relations and valuable memories will stay in the heart
forever. Talk to the grandparents with reverence, talk to the mother lovingly,
talk to the father respectfully, talk to the wife or husband truthfully, talk
to brothers and sisters with restrain and affection, talk to the children with
enthusiasm, talk to the friends freely, talk to the officials politely, talk to
the spiritual guide with humility and talk the God silently with full devotion.
Moral Devotion of Family:
The virtuous qualities of a splendid family conveys commitment, hard
work, initiative, honesty, kindness, leadership, passion, positive thinking and
behavior, respect, tolerance, contentment, thrift, initiative and innovation
for different tasks. God truly dwells in the home where parents remain happy.
It is better to raise temple in your heart and let your parents stay there to
seek you the Devine bliss. There is lot of difference between human being and
being human. Every member of the family must follow the virtuous principles of
humanity.
Contributed by: Dr. Triloki Nath Chugh.
Co-ordinator, Shah Satnam Ji Educational Institutions, Dera Sacha Sauda, Sirsa (Haryana, India ).
The writer is an eminent former Professor of Zoology; he has more than 3 decades of teaching experience in various colleges of KUK and is presently Co-ordinator, Shah Satnam Ji Educational Institutions, DSS, Sirsa. He can be reached on his Mobile No:+91-94160 48789 and email: trilokichugh@gmail.com . Dr Chugh has published many Zoology research papers; Guided several M.Phil students for research; M.Sc. Secured 2nd Position BITS PILANI 1968; Gold Medalist in French Diploma 1981 KUK; Prinicipal at SSS Boys College for 7 years.
1 comment:
Very nicely written, particularly solutions to family problems.
Keep it up Dr. Chugh
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